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CALLASSA
AMAMI
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CALLASSA
Extract
Queen of the Secret House
Callassa was in the bedroom, she was resting her elbows upon the window frame and peering out into the darkness of night. She was wearing lingerie I had seen before. It was yellow and decorated with multi-coloured butterfly print. Her hair was tied at the back in a pleated bunne. Upon seeing her, I stopped because I needed to hold still her effect, the image that could never be taken for granted, nor could ever be lost.
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Callassa was a curvaceous woman, not slim in the conventional / expected sense, rather, she was very well attributed, but not overly so. She was slightly taller than me. Her thighs and her breasts always made me feel tiny, insignificant. What attributes had I to remotely compare? To offer her in return? Whatever, she knew I was behind her. I walked toward her so to place mu arms around her waist and gently take her breasts in the palms of my hands. When I had and with my head resting upon the middle of her shoulders, she felt warm against my hands and face. There was music coming into the room from downstairs. It had galloped after me, it seemed. In its drama and unreadable power the music was as her and as that she was looking out and toward.
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“What is that music?” I asked her softly, aware that I ought to know, that really I was a philistine and my father had been even more so too, brought up on beer and thick pastry pie.
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“Gustav Mahler,” she said quietly. “The Third Symphony, it’s the first motet.”
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“It’s from the cosmos,” I told her.
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“It is the cosmos,” she said, gesturing that she wanted to turn and face me.
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I had taken a step back so to let her turn. She was facing me and leaning backwards against the window frame. I resumed my place and she felt all-encompassing against me. Her mouth was hot and I’d likened her lips in the days heretofore as sweet fruit, bursting through their skin. I could taste her and breathe her deeply into myself. She pressed herself against me and took away the capacity of my eyes tobe elsewhere. Upon hers, I was within brown forests darkened, almost black because of night. Therein I could rise above the forests and be completely free, into the vast that was only ever dark, becoming darker, ever darker. Her voice appeared as a whisper of night birds whose line of flight was never discernible.
(c) MMXXIII Callassa
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CALLASSA
AMAMI
transgender.london
MMXXIII
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